In a shaken sieve the
rubbish is left behind,
so too the defects of a man
appear in his talk.
The kiln tests the work of
the potter,
the test of a man is in his
conversation.
The orchard where the tree
grows is judged on the quality of its fruit,
similarly a man’s words
betray what he feels.
Do not praise a man before
he has spoken,
since this is the test of
men.
Sirach 27:4 - 7
For a
man’s words flow out of what fills his heart.
Luke 6:45
I've sat on any number of panels to assess
applicants for TA, teacher, AP, principalship, senior TCEO positions - and
conversely, I have appeared before more than a few panels to convince them I'd
make a great choice.
We've all been there. The response to the
criteria, waiting for the phone call advising that you've made it to an
interview, the excruciating anticipation, the charm offensive, the interview
and finally awaiting the dreaded but sought after phone call.
My worst ever interview took place by
mobile telephone at 4.00 am. I was in the apartment we had taken in Florence
and where our entire family was learning Italian. I had already had two
apparently successful principalships and this position was a natural
progression. The main difficulty was being on the other side of the world when
I was being interviewed. No intercession was successful in moving the interview
to a later time of their day or my morning. The phone echoed everything -
everything I said and everything the panel said. They could hear perfectly fine
while I was awash with feedback. Needless to say, I didn't get the job. And I
wasn't happy.
I wasn't happy because the panel didn't
have a chance to judge me 'on the quality of my fruit'. I couldn't engage in a
professional and personal conversation because I couldn't express myself or
hear myself. I have always had a very strong sense of vocation in working in
Catholic education, so St Paul's words 'echo' clearly in my endeavours: Never give in then, my dear brothers, never admit
defeat; keep on working at the Lord’s work always, knowing that, in the Lord,
you cannot be labouring in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58).
Allowing others to hear and see your heart
is how we most genuinely imitate compassion. It is how Jesus sensed those in
need of healing and why people were so drawn to be his disciples. His words
were from the heart, and all that prevents us from hearing and seeing is the
noisy feedback of our own lives.
Peter Douglas
African nun
says it’s time for her bishops to face abuse, listen to victims
Sister Bernardine Pemii
by Elise Harris (14 February 2019)
ROME
- An African nun who recently graduated from a course at a prestigious Roman
university on safeguarding minors says that ready or not, her culture must face
up to the fact that clerical sexual abuse is a problem, and that bishops must
start listening to victims.
In
comments to Crux, Sister Bernardine Pemii, a member of the
Daughters of Charity of Saint Vincent de Paul who’s from Nigeria but works in
Ghana, said that while these cultures might not be ready to face the issue,
“it’s time for them to take another view of life, because cultural prejudices
are still accepted,” such as bullying and beating children.
When
it comes to the sexual abuse of a child, she said, the problem is often still
“taboo.”
“People
are aware that something is happening, but they’re not talking about it,” she
said.
Pemii
said that in Ghana, where she works as a teacher and supervises Catholic
schools in her diocese, she’s met young girls who have come forward about abuse
only to retract their allegations after facing pressure from their families.
Families,
Pemii said, are often aware that abuse is happening and that it’s harmful, “but
they don’t want to talk about it,” and so “the child is retraumatized, because
I know something is happening to me, it’s hurting me, and they’re telling me
not to say it.”
This
also goes for the Church, she said, charging that the hierarchy is generally
dismissive of victims.
“Most
of them don’t want to do it,” she said. “The bishops are scared of listening to
the victims because they know the consequences - they may be forced to do
something.”
Speaking
about an upcoming Feb. 21-24 Vatican anti-abuse summit, Pemii voiced hope that
bishops would take the matter seriously and walk away with a willingness to
hear what victims have to say.
“I am
hoping this summit will encourage bishops to listen to victims and not just a
little, [to] be willing to help the victims and not to defend the Church, not
to give excuses, but to accompany victims so that they will be able to get
healing,” she said.'
As
for herself, Pemii said she will seek to incorporate what she learned in the
safeguarding course into training programs for teachers and staff at her
schools.
“I’m
also going to target the priests and the religious in the diocese, so that
where they are, the children will be safe,” she said.
Pemii
is one of 16 students who graduated Feb. 13 from a safeguarding course offered
by the Pontifical Gregorian University’s Center for Child Protection, headed by
German Jesuit Father Hans Zollner, who is part of the organizing committee for
the pope’s anti-abuse summit. Students come from 15 countries on four
continents, mostly from Africa and Asia.
In
addition to the 16 who obtained their diplomas Wednesday, six other students
will move on to a graduate program which will extend over the next three years.
According
to Zollner, the course is targeted at “areas where there’s little expertise,
personnel and knowledge acquired” in safeguarding.
Many
of those areas are located in Africa and in Asia, and as such, the Vatican’s
Congregation for the Evangelization of Peoples offers scholarships to students
on the condition that when they return to their diocese, they will work in a
safeguarding capacity. To date, Zollner said, some 12 countries have benefited
from the scholarship, most of which are in Africa, and Asia will likely be the
recipient of more in the future.
Zollner
also spoke of the rising attention to the abuse of nuns and women religious by
clergy and Church hierarchy, saying that the Center for Child Protection, while
focused primarily on minors, will likely include that topic as part of the
licentiate course dedicated to safeguarding in general.
Speaking
at the graduation ceremony, U.N. Special Representative on Violence against
Children, Marta Santos Pais, stressed the importance of collaboration and
pushing a “zero-tolerance” approach to violence against children in all its
forms.
Santos
Pais told graduates that while they work in different fields, they share “the
same ambition and the same humility, because we are not yet where we would like
to be.”
Recounting
gruesome stories of abuse, including the serial rape of a 12-year-old girl who
became pregnant and whose baby was killed by her abuser, Santos Pais cited
various statistics.
One
study found that 50 percent of children are affected by some sort of violence,
and that half of homicides in Latin America affect people under the age of 30.
Online
abuse is also on the rise. According to a 2017 study by Internet Watch, there
was a 37 percent increase that year, 55 percent of victims were 10 or younger,
and 33 percent of cases included the rape and sexual torture of children.
“There
is a lot to do, as you can imagine,” Santos Pais said, adding that while a 1990
U.N. convention on the rights of the child is a good tool, it has not yet been
fully or adopted, in part because abuse is often concealed.
On
the flip side, while many things “are not yet happening,” there has been
progress, she said, citing a 2030 Sustainable Development Agenda goal “to end
all forms of violence against children, upholding the right of every child to
live free from fear, neglect, abuse and exploitation” as an example.
Money
can also be a motivator, she said, noting that $7 trillion is spent every year
on coping with child abuse, from court costs, police fees and helping children
recover.
“We
live in a very money-driven society,” she said. And were that money to be
invested in preventative measures, “do you know how much we would save?”
Santos
Pais also stressed the importance of empowering individuals in every sphere -
parents, teachers, coaches and religious leaders - to join forces to break
taboos surrounding the issue and implementing a global zero-tolerance policy on
child abuse.
“We
can make zero tolerance of abuse of children a shared value throughout the
world,” she said, “(but) we need to move speedily.”
“If
we do not point out what is happening in the life of young people, we are
incapable of listening (and) we are burying the risks and we are burying the
reality, and we cannot accept that,” she said.
When
it comes to the Catholic Church, Santos Pais, who met Pope Francis in 2018,
said the commitment “is very strong,” and that next week’s anti-abuse summit is
“a very important” moment. Abuse, she said, is not limited to just the Catholic
Church but happens in all faith communities and requires the effort of each to
end it.
In
the Catholic context, scandals are “the beginning of the solution,” she said,
because “unless we recognize [the problem] and it comes out, we cannot move
forward.”
“I
want to wish everyone participating in that meeting the best possible
reflections and outcomes,” she said, and voiced hope that the summit would be
“a demanding discussion, but also an ambitious one.”
https://cruxnow.com/vatican/2019/02/14/african-nun-says-its-time-for-her-bishops-to-face-abuse-listen-to-victims/
